You’ve done the hard part. You decided to try therapy. You found a few therapists who look promising. And now you’re staring at a button that says “schedule a free consultation.”

But wait. What even is a therapy consultation? And what are you supposed to say during it?

If you’ve never done this before, it’s normal to feel a little lost.

A therapy consultation is a short conversation, usually about 15 minutes, where you and a potential therapist feel each other out. Most consultations happen over the phone, though some therapists offer video calls.

You’re both trying to figure out if working together makes sense.

The therapist wants to understand what’s bringing you to therapy and whether they can help. You want to know if this person seems like someone you could open up to.

Nobody is committing to anything yet. If it doesn’t feel right, you move on. No hard feelings.

At our Philadelphia therapy practice, we always recommend starting with a consultation. Here’s what happens when you skip the consultation and jump straight into a first session. You spend 50 minutes with a therapist, realize five minutes in that something feels off, but now you’re stuck. You either sit through an uncomfortable session or have an awkward exit conversation. Plus you’re probably paying for that hour.

A consultation costs you nothing but a few minutes. Your mental health deserves at least that much attention before committing to someone.

The other thing a consultation does is reduce that first session anxiety. When you show up for your actual appointment, you’ve already met this person. You’ve heard their voice. You know a little about how they work. That familiarity makes it so much easier to actually talk.

During the consultation, the therapist will likely ask a few questions to understand your situation. These aren’t tests. There are no wrong answers.

They might ask what’s bringing you to therapy right now. You don’t need a polished answer. Something like “I’ve been feeling really anxious lately” or “my relationship is struggling” works fine.

They might ask if you’ve been in therapy before. If you have, they’ll want to know what worked and what didn’t. This helps them understand your preferences.

They might ask about your schedule and availability. This is purely practical. Therapy works best when you can commit to a consistent time, and most people start with weekly sessions.

Some therapists will ask about insurance. Others handle this before the call even happens. Either way, it’s good to know how insurance and private pay therapy work before you start scheduling consultations.

This is your chance to interview them. Most people don’t realize that, but it’s true. You get to ask questions. Here are some worth considering.

What’s your approach to therapy?

Some therapists are very structured. They’ll give you worksheets and homework and specific techniques to practice. Others take a more open ended approach where you lead the conversation and they guide you through it.

Neither is better. It depends on what you respond to. If you like having a plan, say that. If you’d rather just talk and see where things go, that’s valid too.

Have you worked with people dealing with something similar?

If you’re struggling with anxiety, you want someone who has helped anxious people before. If you’re going through a divorce, find someone who understands relationship endings. If you’re processing trauma, look for a therapist trained in trauma work.

You don’t need someone who has seen your exact situation. But relevant experience matters.

How will I know if therapy is working?

This is a great question because it tells you how the therapist thinks about progress. Some will talk about specific goals and benchmarks. Others focus more on how you’re feeling week to week. Both approaches can work, but you should know what to expect.

What happens if we’re not a good fit?

A good therapist will answer this honestly. They’ll tell you it’s okay to say something isn’t working. They might offer to adjust their approach or help you find someone better suited to your needs.

If a therapist gets weird or defensive about this question, that’s actually useful information.

Do you offer in person sessions, online sessions, or both?

This might seem obvious, but it’s worth clarifying. Some therapists in Philadelphia only see people in person at their office in Center City or Rittenhouse. Others work entirely online. Many offer both options.

Figure out what works for your life. If you’re commuting from West Philly or Haddonfield and fighting traffic sounds miserable, online therapy might be better. If you need to get out of your house and be in a different space, in person could be the move.

A consultation is not a therapy session. You don’t have to tell your whole story. You don’t have to explain every detail of what’s been happening.

A brief overview is enough. “I’m dealing with anxiety that’s gotten worse over the past year” gives the therapist plenty to work with. You can save the deeper stuff for when you’re actually working together.

If you’ve been diagnosed with something before, you can mention it. But you don’t have to. Some people prefer to let a new therapist form their own impressions.

And if you’re not sure what’s wrong or why you need therapy, that’s okay too. “I’ve just been feeling off and I’m not sure why” is a perfectly valid reason to seek help. Here’s more on how to know if you need therapy.

Trust your gut here. Did you feel comfortable? Did the therapist seem like they were really listening? Did their answers make sense?

You don’t need to feel an instant deep connection. But you should feel some sense of ease. Like this person might be someone you could eventually open up to.

Watch for red flags too. Did they talk over you? Did they seem rushed or distracted? Did they make assumptions about you that didn’t feel right?

If something felt off, it’s okay to keep looking. Many people consult with two or three therapists before finding the right match.

If the consultation goes well, you’ll schedule your first actual session. This is usually longer, around 50 minutes to an hour. It’s where you’ll start getting into the real work.

If you’re not sure after the consultation, take a day to think about it. You can also schedule consultations with other therapists to compare.

And if you decide this person isn’t right, you can let them know by email or phone. A simple “I’ve decided to go with someone else” is totally fine. Therapists hear this all the time.

If you’re looking for therapy in Philadelphia or South Jersey, we offer free 15 minute consultations to help you figure out if we’re the right fit. Whether you’re in Fairmount, Northern Liberties, or across the bridge in Haddonfield, we’d love to hear from you.

Reach out when you’re ready.

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