A consultation is a short conversation before you commit to anything. Most sex therapists offer a free 15 to 20 minute phone call where you can ask questions, share a bit about what’s going on, and see if working together feels like a good fit. It’s low pressure by design.

If you’ve never talked to a therapist about sexual concerns before, the idea of a consultation might feel nerve-wracking. But it’s actually the easiest part of the process. You’re not diving into deep personal history or being asked to reveal everything. You’re just having a conversation to figure out if this is the right next step.

The therapist will probably start by asking what brought you to reach out. You don’t have to have a polished explanation. Something like “my partner and I are struggling with intimacy” or “I’ve been dealing with low desire and want to understand it better” is plenty. They’re not expecting you to diagnose yourself or know exactly what’s wrong.

From there, they might ask a few follow-up questions to get a clearer picture. How long has this been going on? Have you tried therapy before? Are you looking for individual or couples work? These questions help them understand whether they’re the right fit for what you need.

You’ll also have a chance to ask your own questions. This is your time to figure out if you feel comfortable with this person. Ask about their experience, their approach, or anything else that matters to you.

A consultation isn’t a therapy session. The therapist isn’t going to ask you to share your full sexual history or talk through traumatic experiences on this first call. They’re trying to get a general sense of your situation, not conduct an intake interview.

If you’re worried about having to say something embarrassing right off the bat, you can relax. The consultation is surface level on purpose. The deeper conversations happen once you’ve decided to move forward and have built some trust.

Pay attention to how you feel during the call. Does the therapist seem like someone you could open up to over time? Do they listen well? Do they answer your questions in a way that makes sense?

You’re not committing to anything by having a consultation. If something feels off, you can thank them for their time and try someone else. Finding the right sex therapist matters more than picking the first one you talk to.

It’s also okay to schedule consultations with a few different therapists before deciding. Most people in the Philadelphia area do exactly that. You’re making an investment in yourself, and it’s worth taking the time to find someone who feels right.

If you’re not sure what to ask during your consultation, here are some ideas.

How much experience do you have with my specific concern? Not all sex therapists specialize in the same issues, so it helps to know if they’ve worked with people in similar situations.

What does a typical session look like? This gives you a sense of their style and what you’d actually be doing together.

How long does sex therapy usually take for something like this? They won’t be able to give you an exact number, but they can offer a general range based on their experience.

How much does sex therapy cost and do you offer superbills for insurance? Getting the cost conversation out of the way early helps you plan.

If the consultation goes well and you want to move forward, the therapist will usually schedule your first sex therapy session. That’s when the real work begins. You’ll go into more detail about your history, your concerns, and your goals.

If you’re not sure after the call, that’s fine too. Take some time to think about it. A good therapist won’t pressure you to decide on the spot. They want you to feel confident about your choice.

The consultation exists to make starting therapy easier, not harder. It’s a chance to get a feel for the therapist, ask questions, and see if this is the right path for you.

We offer in-person sex therapy in Philadelphia and Haddonfield, with online sex therapy sessions available throughout Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

Whether you’re coming from Rittenhouse Square, Northern Liberties, or the suburbs, we’re happy to talk through your concerns and help you figure out if we’re the right fit.

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